Alright, I asked a few people if I should make this a blog post and they said yes. Where do I begin?
When I was a wee lil 12 year old boy, I thought the most there was to life was getting a job or sum idk... until one day when, after not talking with my friends for a few days, they all started talking about wankin yo shit.
I didn't know it at the time, but my puberty would come so late that by time I learnt what it felt like, I'd already gotten into a lot of weird shit that now I can't escape: transformation, huffing, gender bending, etc. The list goes on and on. My point is that I don't want to be the way I am. I don't want to like what I like. I FUCKING HATE THINKING ABOUT MASTURBATION! That's why I try to stay as far away from it as possible, but I can't, the furry fandom is inherently sexual and no matter how hard you try, you can't escape the gooners and porn addicts and such. I don't wanna jerk off, but I've dug so deep that I don't know when I'll be able to stop. If I don't do it, I feel like shit, but if I do crank the hog I feel EVEN WORSE later! I can't escape! I'm writing this to make it clear I won't EVER condone this horrible curse that is porn. I get sick of myself not being able to hold back, not being able to resist this fucking urge, to not be able to quit doing this deplorable act. If you feel like there's nothing wrong with it, sure, go ahead, we live in a free world (for now).
BUT: do not ever try to rope me into indulging into this terrible thing. I hate myself enough, don't make me hate myself even more for being a creep.
Being called a creep is one of the main reasons I want to stop doing this shit. Who's favorite creator is someone who jerks off because they're too shy, too weak to get a real partner? Exactly. That's why I wanna stop. So I can no longer be such a loser. So I can actually feel good about myself. And so I can project these good feelings onto other people, and keep trying to make the world a better place.
I've also thought about what it would be like to be a girl, and actually thought it might be kinda nice. I'm afraid that, like other parts of my personality, this is just one of my stupid fucking kinks trying to change the way I think, like yeah I'd like to be a girl, I think I'd feel comfortable in that body, but do I really think that? or is it just my brain trying to trick me into getting even more depraved and stupid and horrible and desolate and etc etc.
I would list all the horrible things that make me think horrible thoughts, but it feels like then I'm kinda asking for it. So I won't list all my kinks and brain diseases ;3
rant over, para out_